How to Avoid Being a Rude Boss

Image by balik from Pixabay

When I survey employees and organizations about their resilience, having a rude boss is one of the most common reasons individuals and teams struggle.

There are many ways bosses can be rude. Some walk away from a conversation because they lose interest. Others answer calls or do other work during meetings. Rude bosses openly mock people by pointing out their flaws or personality quirks in front of others. They remind their subordinates of their place in a hierarchal organization. They take all the credit for wins and blame others when problems arise.

The negative impact of incivility in the workplace is clear. Studies show that rudeness reduces performance on both routine and creative tasks. Rude behavior decreased helpfulness. Employees are less creative when they feel disrespected. Some staff minimize their effort or lower the quality of their work. Many get fed up and leave.

Despite the adverse effects, rudeness in the workplace is much too common. Researchers Christine Porath and Christine Pearson surveyed thousands of workers over 14 years, and 98% reported experiencing uncivil behavior in the workplace. In 2011, half said they were treated rudely at least once a week—up from a quarter in 1998. 

When asked why they are rude, many leaders say they are overloaded and don't have time to be nice. Some people fear they will be less leader-like. Others are afraid that they'll be taken advantage of if they are nice at work. Many leaders think they need to flex their muscles to garner power. They are jockeying for position in a competitive workplace and don't want to put themselves at a disadvantage.

Luckily, Porath’s research demonstrates that the opposite is true. Respect doesn’t require extra time. You can be direct and clear without being rude.  People who are seen as civil are more likely to be viewed as leaders, and generally are more likely to perform well and succeed.

Some leaders don't know their behavior is perceived as disrespectful and need feedback from others to realize they are harming their teams. Too many of us are multitasking, which makes it hard to be present and to listen. Email and texts make it easier to take out our frustrations, hurl insults and take people down a notch from a safe distance.

Managers need to actively counter some of these pressures to avoid being uncivil and disrespecting their employees. Here are some ways you can avoid being a rude boss:

No Mobile Devices in Meetings

Don’t look at a mobile device while you’re meeting with an employee. If you are worried about an urgent message, have your assistant monitor emails or phone calls and get you if there is a crisis.

Note Your Office Setup

Set up your office with your back to your phone and computer when you talk to people so you won't be distracted by incoming calls and emails and can give employees 100% of your attention. Put a clock within eye-sight so you can see when to end the conversation without having to look at your watch.

Be Kind

Greet people, and say please and thank you. We often get so busy that we forget to say good morning, and we drop usual pleasantries. Accept that being respectful and civil is a sign of strength, not vulnerability. Being rude will undermine your authority. Being courteous and kind will enhance your leadership.

Ask for Feedback

Conduct a confidential 360 survey or set up a confidential suggestions box and specifically ask for employees to identify behaviors that they perceive as disrespectful.

Understand Your Office Culture

Behavior in one culture that is seen as respectful may not be seen the same way in another culture. Learn the cultural norms in your organization and adapt when necessary.

Talk to People

Don't use email or texts to negotiate, argue, or deliver bad news. Pick up the phone or walk to the person's office instead.

What tips do you have to avoid being rude to your employees?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How Your Email Habits Can Damage Your Team's Resilience

Photo by rawpixel.com form PxHere

Many managers are not aware of how their email habits impact the people they supervise. Now that many of us are working remotely, we may be tempted to engage in some email bad habits that can harm our team's resilience.

In 2018, the Harvard Business Review published an article describing efforts to quantify how some leadership habits impact teams. The authors found a significant and consistent correlation between the number of times managers send emails after-hours (late nights and weekends) and the amount of time their direct reports do the same. For example, in one company, they found that for every hour managers spend sending emails after-hours, their direct reports are putting in an additional 20 minutes on after-hour emails.

The authors analyzed Sunday night email patterns since many people like to get a head start on their week by catching up on Sunday evenings. Most people do this with no intention that email recipients will read or respond right away. However, the authors found that when managers start their workweek on Sunday night, so do their direct reports.

Intentionally or not, managers who frequently email after hours are signaling an expectation of similar behavior to their teams, who then respond in kind.

The growth of after-hours emails can be harmful. Gallup research found that employees who email for work and spend more hours working remotely outside of regular working hours are more likely to experience a substantial amount of stress on any given day than people who do not exhibit these behaviors.

It can also be tempting to email during virtual meetings. Managers who multitask during meetings signal that it's OK not to pay attention. According to Harvard Business Review, managers who frequently check and send emails during meetings are 2.2 times more likely to have direct reports who also multitask in meetings. Many people try to justify multitasking since they are overwhelmed with work. They think they are more productive, when, in reality, multitasking reduces productivity.

According to Harvard Business Review, when we shoot off a quick email during a meeting, we miss that part of the conversation. We – and others – may not even notice, but it means we have gaps in our understanding of what took place. That can lead to different interpretations of a decision, missed opportunities to provide critical guidance, or inconsistent follow-through on action agreements. Beyond that, multitasking can signal to others that we do not value their time or their contributions.

Every manager, even the best, can fall into the trap of after-hours emailing and multitasking at meetings, especially during this health crisis. When you're tempted, remind yourself that while this one time may seem harmless on the surface, you risk eroding your team's resilience if it becomes a habit.

To resist temptation, turn off your phone and put it away during meetings. If you want to draft email after-hours, schedule your replies to go out during regular working hours.

How do you prevent yourself from emailing on evenings, weekends, and during meetings?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Be Courageous! Put People First

Shutterstock

We have now spent over two years dealing with a global pandemic. While we can see some hope in the future as more and more people get vaccinated, people are reaching their limits.

Companies are struggling, organizations are floundering, and government agencies are feeling the strain. When this is over, a few organizations will stand out as having thrived despite the crisis.

Based on my experience with U.S. Embassies in crisis, I predict that those successful organizations will all have one thing in common. They are putting their people first. They are prioritizing the well-being of their workforce over profits, products, or policy. They understand that in a crisis, it's the people who make things happen. It's the people who find innovative solutions and solve the toughest problems.

In a crisis, leaders must prioritize the safety of their employees, even when it's hard. Over the past few weeks, I've heard from dozens of employees who do not feel safe in their workplace. Their supervisors tell their employees they care, but their actions say otherwise. They limit telework because they aren't comfortable with remote supervision. They don't fight for masks and hand sanitizers for essential staff who must take risks by coming to work. They won't pay the salaries of employees who are sick or in self-quarantine.

Employees who do not feel safe will quickly check out. Even the most self-motivated employee will lose their energy just when you need it the most. After the crisis, it will be difficult or impossible to rebuild trust, leaving teams fractured and less capable. Staff may become bitter and cynical, which erodes team resilience and limits productivity.

In contrast, when people feel safe, they will often perform exceptionally well under stress. Some will remember the crisis as a highlight of their career. U.S. Ambassador Peter Bodde demonstrated the power of putting people first when a devastating earthquake hit Nepal in 2015. Realizing that the U.S. Embassy in Kathmandu was one of the safest buildings in the city, he allowed all embassy staff (American and Nepalese), their families, and their pets to move onto the embassy compound. This move was unprecedented, and he didn't ask Washington for permission. He knew he was taking a risk, but the safety of his staff was his top priority.

Ambassador Bodde’s team exceeded expectations in their ability to assist and protect U.S. citizens and achieve U.S. foreign policy goals. Staff told me that they have fond memories of their time in Nepal, even though they lived and worked through two major earthquakes and hundreds of aftershocks.

If you are a supervisor, take a few minutes and ask yourself whether you are putting your people first. Are you making the sacrifices necessary to demonstrate that you care about your staff? If not, ask yourself why. What are you prioritizing ahead of your employees? Identify the barriers preventing you from supporting your people and work to remove or minimize those barriers.

If you’re afraid of the consequences if you prioritize people over profits, products, or policy, remind yourself that courage is taking action despite the fear, not the absence of fear. Commit to being courageous during this public health crisis. You and many others will be glad you did.

What have you done to put people first during this pandemic?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Want to Be More Productive? Empower Your Staff to Say No

Shutterstock

One of the most useful resilience skills you can learn is how and when to say "no." Setting boundaries and saying no improves productivity by allowing time for recovery, training, and building relationships with team members.

Unfortunately, many workplaces are “yes” cultures, where saying “no” is discouraged.

In these cultures, even those of us who are good at saying no may hesitate for fear that colleagues will be disappointed, question our commitment, or not view us as team players. We worry that supervisors will penalize us if we say no, even when it means that our work product and personal life suffer.

A "yes" culture can cripple an organization, especially if senior leaders are big idea generators and staff doesn't push back. Leaders can avoid creating a "yes" culture by fostering an environment in which saying no is encouraged and rewarded. Here are some ways leaders can empower their staff to say no. 

Establish a Rating System

Create a list of criteria for scoring possible new projects. When senior leaders propose a new idea, meet as a team to rate the proposal. Use that rating to help prioritize the value of the suggestion. If the score is low, you have an objective basis for declining and explaining that the project is not a priority at the moment.

Evaluate the Cons

Many of us see only the good that can from a new project or idea and forget to evaluate the cost. As a team, list both the pros and cons of taking on a new project. Look at your assumptions, assess the risk, identify the opportunity cost of what will not get done, and encourage honest exploration of what could go wrong. Don't proceed unless the pros outweigh the negatives.

Celebrate Saying "No"

Publicly praise employees who say no. Be open to changing your mind and, when you do, explain why. Point out how a colleague's "no" helped you avoid making the wrong decision. In staff meetings, ask for dissenting views and thank the contributors.

Don’t Have a Default Answer

While always saying "yes" can be destructive, automatically saying "no" will also cause harm. You don't want your team to gain a reputation for always saying "no" and not contributing to the overall mission. Instead, tell senior leadership you'll review the request with the team and respond soon with a thoughtful answer.

Explain Why You’re Saying “Yes”

When you do say yes, make it clear why “yes” in this case is best for the team.

When your team can confidently pass up opportunities that don't generate enough value, you will have the time to say "yes" to those that matter. When your employees feel comfortable telling you no, you'll find they are more capable and productive. They will feel empowered to speak out on other issues as well. For more guidance on how to say no, check out this blog post.

How do you encourage your employees to say no?

 ___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Great Leaders Model Resilience

Image by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pixabay

Several years ago, I trained embassy personnel in a highly volatile part of the world. The staff faced incredible challenges in their efforts to achieve U.S. foreign policy goals. I was pleased to meet a senior leader who was practicing many of the resilience skills I was teaching, and, as a result, his accomplishments were far above average. I thought he was one of the best resilience role models I had met in the State Department.

Imagine my surprise when I mentioned this to his colleagues only to have them respond with skepticism. They protested, stating that the leader must have been working all of the time without breaks to accomplish everything he did. They felt they could not keep up with him. I then realized that no one saw him engaging in resilience-enhancing activities. Instead, they assumed he was working all the time. They were frustrated because when they tried to work longer hours, they did not achieve the same results. They viewed him as superhuman and not as a role model.

This exchange highlighted how important it is that leaders let staff see them engaging in resilience practices and talk about why they prioritize certain activities and the impact they have on their abilities.

Here are some tips on how you can model resilience for your staff:

Say No

Many people are overworked, which is a leading cause of low resilience and burnout. One of the main reasons for overwork is having a boss who never says no to requests from their leadership or clients. Great leaders set boundaries and priorities and say no to requests that would burden their staff.

Put Events on Your Calendar

If you work out during lunch, put it on your calendar as exercise time. Put your ten-minute morning walk on your schedule. Staff often has access to senior leaders' calendars, and seeing these activities scheduled sends the message that they are essential and not frivolous.

Leave Work on Time

While there will always be days when a crisis requires us to work overtime, it is essential that senior leaders are consistently seen leaving the office or logging of their computers on time. If you’re in the office, walk around and say goodnight. If you must check emails after hours, don't respond until you're back in the office.

Take Vacation

Designate and train a backup and take several weeks of leave each year. If you check emails while on vacation, don't respond until you're back in the office. Talk about your vacation plans and how your vacation made you feel afterward.

Talk About Your Passions

If your family is your passion, talk about them, and mention the importance of being home for dinner with your children. If a hobby is your passion, let your team know why you make time for it. When your employees see how much you value non-work activities, they will feel free to do the same.

Publicly Ask for Help

Many leaders are reluctant to admit in public that they need help, worried they will appear to be vulnerable or not up to the demands of the job. However, asking for help improves resilience, and when leaders publicly ask for help, they encourage others to do the same.

Acknowledge Your Bad Days

Most people try to give the impression that they are okay even when they are not. When leaders acknowledge that they are having a tough time because a child is ill or a friend just died, this communicates that it is reasonable to struggle from time-to-time. 

Have you or one of your supervisors modeled resilience? If so, how?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is an Inspiring Resilience Role Model

This week we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a man who brought hope and healing to America. Thanks to his resilience, Dr. King was able to accomplish goals that seemed impossible and out of reach.

Dr. King's resilience allowed him to be flexible, adapt quickly, and collaborate well with others. He made quick and effective decisions in a crisis and persisted despite adversity.

What made Dr. King such a resilient person and a leader who inspired resilience within the civil rights community?

Religion

A few years ago, I visited Montgomery, Alabama, and was privileged to tour the church where Dr. King served as a pastor. I learned how much Dr. King looked to his religion for meaning and purpose. While having a religious belief is not required for resilience, studies consistently show that being a member of a religious community can enhance resilience.

Social Support

Dr. King reached out to his wife Coretta, the rest of his immediate family, and members of their church to support and encourage him during his years of struggle. When I toured his home in Montgomery, the guides described the importance he placed on his family and how they would host social gatherings to draw support from friends in the community. Dr. King surrounded himself with people whom he could lean on and who helped him endure.

Recovery Time

Dr. King's days were long and arduous. They took a toll on him physically and mentally. What struck me when visiting his home was how he created space for contemplation and recovery. He would spend hours in his office praying, reading, and thinking. Taking this time allowed him to recover from stress and hardship.

Altruism

Dr. King believed strongly in helping others. When sanitation workers went on strike in Memphis, he gave his support because he wanted to help others in need. Staff at the Civil Rights Museum in Memphis told me that Dr. King was tempted not to go to the church to give his Mountaintop speech because it was pouring rain, and he was tired. Dr. King went anyway because he wanted to support the striking workers. In this remarkable speech, he explained that the question he posed to himself was not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question was, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?"

Reframing

Dr. King was a master at reframing negative situations, which allowed him to maintain a positive outlook despite tragedy. He knew that staying mired in negativity and hatred would erode his resilience and lead to bitterness. In his famous "I Have a Dream" speech, he reframed the civil rights movement from a struggle of mighty proportions to an inspiring dream embraced by many.

Staying positive wasn't always easy, especially when white extremists bombed his house. In his autobiography, he wrote: “While I lay in that quiet front bedroom, I began to think of the viciousness of people who would bomb my home. I could feel the anger rising when I realized that my wife and baby could have been killed. I was once more on the verge of corroding hatred. And once more I caught myself and said: ‘You must not allow yourself to become bitter.’ ”

How do you draw inspiration from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.?

 ___________________________ 

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

This Year, Commit to Being a Resilience Leader

The last two years have been tough. The chronic stress of living through a global pandemic is still taking its toll, and many of us saw our resilience erode as a result.

While there is some hope that the pandemic will end this year, we still have some difficult months ahead. Resilience Leaders, managers who foster a culture of resilience in their organizations and teams, are needed now more than ever.

As a senior leader in the U.S. Department of State, I saw first-hand the value of leading in a way that fosters the resilience of an office or embassy. After I recovered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my service in Iraq, I initially focused on my resilience. As I moved into more senior leadership positions, I realized that being a resilient leader was not enough, and paying attention only to my resilience risked neglecting my team.

I learned that I also needed to model resilience-building behaviors, mentor employees who had low resilience and foster the resilience of my team. When I became a Resilience Leader instead of just a resilient leader, my team's performance improved dramatically.

Here's how you can be a Resilience Leader:

Model Resilience Behaviors

• Actions matter: As a leader, employees are watching everything you do. If they see you exercising over lunch, leaving work on time to attend your daughter’s soccer match, openly grieving the loss of a loved one, or taking a vacation without checking emails, they are more likely to do the same. Spend the next month examining your behavior. What messages are you sending or not sending through your actions?

• Actions speak louder than words: Talking about resilience without behaving in ways that improve resilience can cause harm since employees may perceive you as hypocritical, which can erode trust. While it may be helpful to talk about your behavior as a form of modeling, let your actions speak and minimize your words.

Mentor Employees with Low Resilience

• Build trust: Your employees will be more open with you if they trust you. Build credibility early on by getting to know your employees and demonstrating your commitment to their well-being.

• Ask questions: If you see an employee who is struggling, point out what you are seeing and then ask open-ended questions that indicate a genuine interest in hearing what is going on. Continue to pose follow-up questions that give your employee control over how much they tell you, yet encourage them to talk.

• Listen: Many people just want someone who will listen. If you reach an awkward silence, resist the temptation to fill the silence by talking. While you may want to share some experiences you’ve had that are relevant, the focus of the conversation should be on your employee, not on you.

• Don’t problem-solve: Many of us want to solve problems because it gives us control, especially when we are uncomfortable with an emotional issue. However, jumping immediately into problem-solving can appear to be dismissive or condescending. Instead, encourage your employee to talk. At the end of the conversation, if appropriate, guide them to explore potential ways forward.

Foster Team Resilience

• Foster the 7Cs of Team Resilience: If you are the head of your office or organization, you will have the most significant impact on your team's resilience. Make the 7Cs of Team Resilience one of your leadership priorities.

• Encourage others to build team resilience: Recognize that every member can contribute to their team's resilience and effectiveness. Involve everyone on your team in strengthening the 7Cs.

To learn more about being a Resilience Leader, check out my Udemy Resilience Leadership course. This two-hour course explains how to model, mentor, and foster resilience and is filled with activities that will improve your resilience leadership skills. The course is free for the first 100 people who use this link to register before January 27, 2022.

Are you a Resilience Leader? Have you worked for a Resilience Leader? What do you/they do to model, mentor and foster resilience?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

How to Help Someone With Low Resilience

The holiday season can be tough on people. With coronavirus, this year is particularly difficult. If you notice that a colleague is struggling, what can you do?

Too many of us do nothing. The worst thing we can do is gossip about the person, trying to figure out what’s going on. Supervisors may confront or discipline an employee for poor performance.

Since low resilience may be causing these changes in behavior, the best thing you can do is talk to the person and find out what is going on.

Many of us are reluctant to delve into a colleague’s personal life. We worry we may infringe on the person's privacy, violate an HR rule, or make matters worse. We also risk becoming too emotionally involved or being manipulated.

Luckily, we can talk to colleagues about resilience in ways that will minimize these risks and manage our fears.

To have a fruitful conversation, your colleague must trust you. That's why it is essential to build trust with colleagues early on. If a colleague doesn't trust you, he may be defensive and suspect you have bad intentions. If there isn't trust, find someone your colleague does trust, and ask him to have the resilience conversation.

If you opt to have the talk yourself, decide ahead of time how much time you can devote to a conversation and find a comfortable environment that allows for privacy. Allow time for your recovery after the conversation in case the discussion ends up being emotional or stressful for you.

When you start the discussion, be clear and direct, describing the behavior changes you’ve been seeing. Show compassion and caring. Communicate that you’re raising this issue because you want to be supportive.

Then, ask open-ended questions. By asking open-ended questions, you're giving control to your colleague to decide how much to tell you. You are not violating a person's privacy if he wants to tell you what is happening. If he doesn't want to talk, let him know that you're okay with that and available to talk later if he changes his mind.

The most important thing you can do is listen. These conversations make many of us nervous, which causes most of us to say more. Fight your desire to speak and instead really listen to what your colleague is saying. If self-disclosure is appropriate, keep your own story short and shift back to your colleague’s story. The focus of the conversation should be on your colleague, not on you.

Most people want to jump into problem-solving much too quickly in these conversations. And, they start telling the person what to do instead of listening to what is going on. Resist the temptation to fix the problem. Instead, after you've spent time hearing the story, ask questions that help your colleague find his way forward. 

Be careful not to make any judgments. For example, telling a colleague that you think he'd benefit from mental healthcare is judging. Instead, use self-disclosure to make suggestions. (When my mother died, I found counseling very beneficial. Where do you think you can get support?) Or, continue to ask questions that help the person reach conclusions. (What do you think is causing this? What have you explored so far?)

Avoid become your colleague's only support or letting these conversations absorb too much of your time. If you feel your colleague is becoming too dependent on you, explain that you cannot provide as much support as he appears to need. Then, offer to help him explore where he can find the help he requires.

These conversations are hard, and it is okay if you make mistakes. Helping colleagues with low resilience is a skill that you'll improve with practice.

Have you talked with a colleague with low resilience? How did it go?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

How to Support an Employee Who Loses a Loved One

Last spring, I wrote a blog on how to maintain resilience when someone in your office dies. It is also essential, particularly for managers, to focus on resilience when an employee loses a loved one - a spouse, parent, child, or close friend/relative. 

Everyone suffers death and loss at some point. Grief can be all-consuming, an issue that spills over into the workplace long after the loss has passed.

Managers who support employees' resilience during times of grief are more likely to find the right balance between being compassionate and maintaining workplace productivity. It also sends a message to all employees that you value them as individuals.

Supervisors who ignore the loss or do not respond well may undermine an employee's healing process, and the employee may struggle to bounce back from this significant life-changing event.

Managers can play a crucial role in helping a person heal. While we all deal with grief differently, knowing something about the various stages or behaviors typical in the grief process can help supervisors understand how to support grieving staff.

In addition to understanding the griefing process, consider these tips for helping a grieving employee:

Talk to Your Employee

Having social connections is critical to resilience. Reach out to your bereaved employee as soon as possible after you learn of their loss. Carve out space on your calendar so that you do not feel rushed for time. Take a moment to gather your thoughts. When offering your condolences, expect sadness and tears. Listen and respect confidentiality.

When the employee returns to work, don't avoid talking about the loss. Many people who are grieving find it comforting to talk about the memories of their loved ones. Don't worry that you will somehow "remind" them of their loss. Their loved one will already be at the forefront of their thoughts. Be cautious of offering platitudes. Instead, provide a sincere expression of condolence that opens up space for your employee to talk.

Give Your Employee Time

Be as flexible as possible in allowing your employee to have the time and space to deal with their loss. Some people will want to return to work as soon as possible while others need more time away. Don't make assumptions about what your employee needs. Ensure that all options are available and let your employee decide which route to take. Know that the grief journey is rarely linear. An employee may have a good day, followed by a bad day.

Share Information

Ask your employee what information they would like conveyed to the team. Proactively offer to draft an email message on their behalf to their colleagues. Later, with permission from the employee, share information about funerals and memorials in a timely fashion. Consider attending the service if appropriate (this may be virtual during coronavirus). If appropriate, ensure that the office organizes a group acknowledgment, such as issuing a card or flowers. Having the support of colleagues can help the employee bounce back.

Here's a sample message you could send on behalf of an employee:

"I am deeply saddened to tell you that the [family member] of [employee] died on [date]. [Employee] and [pronoun] family hope you will share in their sorrow and loss, but also in the joyful memories of [family member). When I have more information about [employee's] return and about funeral arrangements, I will share them."

Anniversaries Are Hard

Even years after someone loses a loved one, there are key dates that may trigger an emotional response. These can include birthdays, anniversaries, the day someone passed, or other significant days. Be sensitive to these days and understanding if your employee is struggling. Allowing someone to talk about their loved one is the kindest thing you can offer.

Get Help

Dealing with grief can be very difficult. Reach out to your Employee Assistance Program to see if they have resources for managers and employees. Remind employees for whom their colleague’s loss may be a trigger or reminder of their grief of available resources for support.

What advice do you have for managers with employees who lost a loved one?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

If You Want to Foster Resilience, Don't Micromanage

Image by kalhh from Pixabay

One leadership habit that can destroy both individual and team resilience is micromanaging. Instead of setting a goal and letting the team figure out how to get there, micromanagers cannot resist getting into the weeds. They dictate every step that must be taken and get angry when employees don't follow their instructions. They take pride in finding and correcting mistakes.

This behavior undermines the leader's resilience since it leads to overwork. They need to control everything, which means they rarely delegate effectively and quickly have too much on their plate. The more senior the leader, the more overwhelmed they become.

These leaders also never check out. They work on the weekends and during vacations, never taking a break to re-energize. They rarely delegate tasks or empower someone to act in their place.

Even worse, micromanagement erodes team resilience since it devalues team members. Dictating to staff how something should be done is not respectful; it treats skilled individuals as robots who should simply take orders. Micromanagers signal to their employees that they do not trust them to do a good job. If you don’t trust an employee to do a task correctly, regular feedback and other performance management actions are more effective than micromanaging.  

Micromanagers are usually so overworked they don't demonstrate their commitment to the team by showing up to events or mentoring colleagues. They also don't take the time to make connections with others. When a crisis hits, their teams are often not empowered to act, and can easily fracture.

The good news is that micromanagers can change. The first step is acknowledging that micromanagement is lousy management and corrosive. It's a bad habit that must be stopped. To see if you are micromanaging, next time you ask staff to do some work on your behalf, ask them how much guidance they want. If no one asks for more guidance, you've been giving too much.

If the work product isn't exactly what you had in mind, ask yourself why you don’t think it’s acceptable. Ask, "what could be the worst thing to happen if you implemented the plan as presented?" Try hard not to reject your staff's work and play a less intrusive role. If you want it done your way and are not open to other perspectives, you are micromanaging.

If you are micromanaging your team, hire a coach or find a mentor who can help you find alternative approaches. Have colleagues point out your micromanagement behavior. Ask your staff to remind you when they are being micromanaged.

Have you ever micromanaged? How did you stop?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.