Want to Be More Productive? Empower Your Staff to Say No

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One of the most useful resilience skills you can learn is how and when to say "no." Setting boundaries and saying no improves productivity by allowing time for recovery, training, and building relationships with team members.

Unfortunately, many workplaces are “yes” cultures, where saying “no” is discouraged.

In these cultures, even those of us who are good at saying no may hesitate for fear that colleagues will be disappointed, question our commitment, or not view us as team players. We worry that supervisors will penalize us if we say no, even when it means that our work product and personal life suffer.

A "yes" culture can cripple an organization, especially if senior leaders are big idea generators and staff doesn't push back. Leaders can avoid creating a "yes" culture by fostering an environment in which saying no is encouraged and rewarded. Here are some ways leaders can empower their staff to say no. 

Establish a Rating System

Create a list of criteria for scoring possible new projects. When senior leaders propose a new idea, meet as a team to rate the proposal. Use that rating to help prioritize the value of the suggestion. If the score is low, you have an objective basis for declining and explaining that the project is not a priority at the moment.

Evaluate the Cons

Many of us see only the good that can from a new project or idea and forget to evaluate the cost. As a team, list both the pros and cons of taking on a new project. Look at your assumptions, assess the risk, identify the opportunity cost of what will not get done, and encourage honest exploration of what could go wrong. Don't proceed unless the pros outweigh the negatives.

Celebrate Saying "No"

Publicly praise employees who say no. Be open to changing your mind and, when you do, explain why. Point out how a colleague's "no" helped you avoid making the wrong decision. In staff meetings, ask for dissenting views and thank the contributors.

Don’t Have a Default Answer

While always saying "yes" can be destructive, automatically saying "no" will also cause harm. You don't want your team to gain a reputation for always saying "no" and not contributing to the overall mission. Instead, tell senior leadership you'll review the request with the team and respond soon with a thoughtful answer.

Explain Why You’re Saying “Yes”

When you do say yes, make it clear why “yes” in this case is best for the team.

When your team can confidently pass up opportunities that don't generate enough value, you will have the time to say "yes" to those that matter. When your employees feel comfortable telling you no, you'll find they are more capable and productive. They will feel empowered to speak out on other issues as well. For more guidance on how to say no, check out this blog post.

How do you encourage your employees to say no?

 ___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Great Leaders Model Resilience

Image by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pixabay

Several years ago, I trained embassy personnel in a highly volatile part of the world. The staff faced incredible challenges in their efforts to achieve U.S. foreign policy goals. I was pleased to meet a senior leader who was practicing many of the resilience skills I was teaching, and, as a result, his accomplishments were far above average. I thought he was one of the best resilience role models I had met in the State Department.

Imagine my surprise when I mentioned this to his colleagues only to have them respond with skepticism. They protested, stating that the leader must have been working all of the time without breaks to accomplish everything he did. They felt they could not keep up with him. I then realized that no one saw him engaging in resilience-enhancing activities. Instead, they assumed he was working all the time. They were frustrated because when they tried to work longer hours, they did not achieve the same results. They viewed him as superhuman and not as a role model.

This exchange highlighted how important it is that leaders let staff see them engaging in resilience practices and talk about why they prioritize certain activities and the impact they have on their abilities.

Here are some tips on how you can model resilience for your staff:

Say No

Many people are overworked, which is a leading cause of low resilience and burnout. One of the main reasons for overwork is having a boss who never says no to requests from their leadership or clients. Great leaders set boundaries and priorities and say no to requests that would burden their staff.

Put Events on Your Calendar

If you work out during lunch, put it on your calendar as exercise time. Put your ten-minute morning walk on your schedule. Staff often has access to senior leaders' calendars, and seeing these activities scheduled sends the message that they are essential and not frivolous.

Leave Work on Time

While there will always be days when a crisis requires us to work overtime, it is essential that senior leaders are consistently seen leaving the office or logging of their computers on time. If you’re in the office, walk around and say goodnight. If you must check emails after hours, don't respond until you're back in the office.

Take Vacation

Designate and train a backup and take several weeks of leave each year. If you check emails while on vacation, don't respond until you're back in the office. Talk about your vacation plans and how your vacation made you feel afterward.

Talk About Your Passions

If your family is your passion, talk about them, and mention the importance of being home for dinner with your children. If a hobby is your passion, let your team know why you make time for it. When your employees see how much you value non-work activities, they will feel free to do the same.

Publicly Ask for Help

Many leaders are reluctant to admit in public that they need help, worried they will appear to be vulnerable or not up to the demands of the job. However, asking for help improves resilience, and when leaders publicly ask for help, they encourage others to do the same.

Acknowledge Your Bad Days

Most people try to give the impression that they are okay even when they are not. When leaders acknowledge that they are having a tough time because a child is ill or a friend just died, this communicates that it is reasonable to struggle from time-to-time. 

Have you or one of your supervisors modeled resilience? If so, how?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Should You Make Personal Sacrifices For Your Work?

A few weeks ago, a senior manager complained to me that her younger employees take sick leave when they aren't feeling well. She recounted that in her day, people would never dream of calling in sick unless they were seriously ill.

And, don’t even talk to her about mental health days.

She acknowledged that her team backs each other up and is productive despite taking leave. What bothered her was their unwillingness to “sacrifice” like in the old days when employees would push through and tough it out even if there was little impact on productivity.

Her opinion got me thinking about the culture of sacrifice in many workplaces. Too many leaders, like this senior manager, appear to value sacrifice over effectiveness. This focus on sacrifice, however, risks undermining their ability to achieve work goals.

How do we decide when to sacrifice and when to draw the line?

During my career as a U.S. diplomat, I made hundreds of sacrifices large and small. I risked my life in Iraq but am comfortable with that decision because I was keeping American citizens safe. I worked many weekends uncompensated and was woken in the middle of the night hundreds of times. I believed these sacrifices were warranted because they had a direct impact on vital foreign policy goals.

But other sacrifices were silly. When I worked as a control officer for a VIP visit a day after being released from the hospital, I jeopardized my health when another embassy employee could have taken my place. The sacrifice I most regret was when I didn't return to the United States when my dad had open-heart surgery because I'd just arrived in a new job and didn't want to upset my boss by asking for leave. If my dad had not survived this risky surgery, I would never have forgiven myself.

I realized that I made many sacrifices simply because the culture (no one individual) pressured me to do so. I often didn't achieve anything monumental, and at times my productivity suffered. Seriously, was I an effective control officer the day after being released from the hospital?

I learned to think about the sacrifices I feel compelled to make and then make a conscious decision about whether the sacrifice is worth it. I ask myself whether I would make the sacrifice for the right reason. I try to resist the cultural pressure to sacrifice as a way of demonstrating commitment or proving I can do something hard, but instead limit sacrifices to those that make a real difference.

And, if I don’t feel well or need a mental health day, I take sick leave.

How do you decide when to make or not make a sacrifice for your work?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

11 Tips on How to Say No

Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash.

I believe that the ability to say no is an essential resilience skill since it helps us stay in control of our time and provides the space we need to practice the five resilience factors. Unfortunately, it is tough to say no even when we know we should. If you want to become better at saying no, try some of these tips:

Know Why You Say Yes

Many of us say yes because we want to be the perfect employee, don't want to disappoint others, avoid conflict, or have a strong sense of duty. Identify the reasons you say yes when you would prefer to say no and actively counter them. For example, if you tend to avoid conflict, recognize this and prepare yourself to work through the tension this creates.

Set Boundaries

Set clear limits that allow you to evaluate every request to determine whether it falls within your boundaries. If a request crosses a boundary, remind yourself why you established the boundary and the costs associated with saying yes. Setting priorities is one example of setting boundaries, making it easier to explain that a work request is not a priority at the moment and, therefore, cannot be done.

Take Some Time

Replace an instant yes with “Let me check my calendar” or “I’ll get back to you” to give yourself the time to check whether yes is consistent with your boundaries. If you decide to say no, it gives you time to plan how you will deliver this message.

Be Clear

It’s tempting to water-down a no, but doing so can result in miscommunication about expectations that can eventually damage your reputation and relationship.

Explain Why

Give an honest explanation that you think is most credible to the person making the request. Examples include: “My team is down two people, and we are only taking on new assignments if they are in our top five priorities” or “This is outside my area of expertise, and I don’t want to deliver a sub-par product.”

Don’t Argue

Don’t let your requester argue with you about the validity of your reason for declining the request. If he attempts to debate, repeat your explanation over and over until he gives up.

Remember Long Term Impacts

It is tempting to make someone happy in the short term by saying yes, but if you are overwhelmed and cannot fulfill your promise or provide substandard work, you'll have a very frustrated person later on. You also risk developing a reputation for not keeping promises. It is much better to have some minor disappointment in the near term than anger in the long run.

Provide Other Options

If you want to be helpful without saying yes, direct the asker to different ways she can meet her needs. While not always possible, this can lessen potential conflict or disappointment since the asker is achieving her goal.

Don't Blame the Person Asking

It is common to become annoyed or angry with people who ask for something you do not want to provide. Remind yourself that asking for something, if done professionally, is not wrong. If you struggle to say no, that's behavior for you to address and it doesn't help to blame the asker.

Value the Request

By acknowledging a person but saying no to the specific request, you may reduce your guilt and preserve a meaningful relationship. For example, if a colleague asks you to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies from his daughter, you may respond that you admire the Girl Scouts and think their annual cookie sales is a great effort, however, you’re trying to cut back on sweets and already bought the one box of cookies you allow yourself every year.

Drop the Guilt

Guilt signals that you’ve done something wrong and need to make amends. Many of us feel guilty habitually, even when we’ve done nothing wrong. When you feel guilty, ask yourself, “have I harmed someone or acted in conflict with my values?” If yes, apologize, and do better. If no, remind yourself that there is no reason to feel guilty.

What helps you say no?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Prevent the Holidays From Eroding Your Resilience

The next few months may be rough for many people. Many of us will miss our traditional gatherings with family and friends. Non-Christians may feel excluded and isolated.

While winter holidays can be joyful and rewarding, they can also be emotional and stressful. There might be stress at work over who gets to take annual leave for important holidays.

Some families find the pressure of deciding which relatives to visit or host on meaningful days overwhelming. There’s even more stress this year since we have to decide whether or not to cancel holiday gatherings. We may travel long distances to be with family, which is exhausting in ordinary years and precarious this year.

There may be endless parties and an expectation to be cheerful. There may be social pressure to celebrate on New Year's Eve when we'd rather curl up with a good book. Watching everyone else have fun can be incredibly lonely for people without close friends or family.

If you find the holiday season particularly stressful, develop a strategy for staying resilient. Here are some tips that might help:

Build Social Support

If the holidays make you feel lonely, be proactive about finding people with whom to spend time either virtually or with social distancing. Let people know that you'd love to be invited to their virtual events. Host a virtual holiday event or a safe in-person gathering and invite others who would otherwise be solo.

Make Time to Recover

While it can be tempting to visit loved ones over the holidays, understand the risks you are taking. If you plan to travel, build in time to recover by carving out time just for yourself. If you can, add a day or two of vacation that is just for you and immediate family.

Say No

Clarify your holiday boundaries ahead of time and communicate those boundaries to family and friends. Say no when requests come in that are outside of your boundaries, explaining the reasoning beyond your decision.

 For example, a boundary could be that you travel only once every holiday season. When requests come in for additional travel, you can explain that you find that more than one trip is too much for you and your family over the holidays, and you hope to make a trip later.

 Another boundary could be that you will only spend time with people outside of your household if you all agree to stay outdoors and maintain social distance.

Volunteer

Consider volunteering at a local organization that helps others during the holidays. You can find meaning and purpose in what may otherwise have been an empty or lonely celebration by helping others.

Reframe

If you don't get to take leave over the holidays this year, ask yourself if anything positive can come from working during the holidays. Are you earning points at work for pitching in over the holidays? Would taking leave at another time spare you the horrors of holiday travel during a pandemic?

If you have to cancel traditional gatherings, remind yourself that you’ll all hopefully be together next year.

Manage Your Indulgences

While it is fun to indulge in holiday treats, resist the temptation to stress eat or drink. If you find yourself getting overstressed, make sure you continue to eat enough fruits and vegetables and try to set a limit on indulgences.

Permit People to Opt-Out

Recognize that some people find the holiday season extremely difficult to navigate, especially this year. Be understanding if they opt-out of the office party or family gathering. Resist pressuring them to "have holiday fun."

What helps you stay resilient during the holidays?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.