How to Know if Your Team Has Low Resilience

Team resilience is the capacity of a group of people to respond to change and disruption in a flexible and innovative manner. In the face of adversity, resilient teams maintain their work productivity while minimizing the emotional toll on team members. 

A team’s resilience can vary depending on how well resilience is fostered within the group and the amount of stress, change, and trauma the team is experiencing at any given time.

Teams with high resilience are more innovative, proactive, and collaborative. They are excellent problem solvers and work through conflict. Teams with low resilience struggle to achieve their goals.

Given the stress caused by the coronavirus, your team may be struggling. To get a sense of your team’s resilience, look at the following factors:

Sick Leave

How much sick leave are team members taking? Are most employees exhausting their sick leave? High rates of minor illness may indicate low resilience.

Interoffice Conflict

How well do employees collaborate? Are there simmering feuds among staff? Do employees avoid each other? How much do employees interact in staff meetings? Constant unresolved conflict between staff members may be a sign of low resilience.

Planning

Do employees plan for the future? Are they proactive, anticipating issues, or are they reactive, only responding to daily taskings? Lack of future planning is common when there is low resilience.

Staff Turnover

Is there high turnover among staff? Would employees take a new job even without a promotion or salary increase? High turnover is a red flag for low resilience.

Productivity

Is productivity low? While it can be hard to tell whether productivity is suffering due to lack of staff and resources or low resilience, compare productivity with previous time periods. If productivity is lower than it has been in the past despite no change in staff and resources, it may be caused by low resilience.

Problem-Solving

Are team members overwhelmed by simple problems? Do they get stuck once they hit a barrier? How much innovation do you see among the staff? Teams with low resilience struggle to problem solve.

Morale

Are people generally happy in their jobs? How do they feel at the end of the day? Do they look forward to coming to work? Low morale may be a sign of low resilience.

Reckless Behavior

Are staff members not following the rules or being insubordinate? Is their behavior reckless, with little regard for the impact on themselves or others? Reckless behavior may increase if there is low resilience.

If you find that your team’s resilience is low, check out my blog on the 7Cs of team resilience to learn more about how you can support your team.

What helps you identify whether your team has low resilience?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Stay Connected in a Virtual World

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

Many people have worked virtually for over two years now. Some companies are incorporating virtual work into the new normal. It’s harder to build and maintain connections with colleagues when you don’t see them in person. We don't have the short, casual conversations we had when we would run into coworkers in the elevator or at the coffee station.

Virtual meetings may have become more structured, without time or opportunity for non-work chit-chat. It’s also harder to chat informally online because it’s so easy to talk over each other.

Having strong connections with coworkers is one of the 7Cs of team resilience, making it more likely your team will respond to change and disruption in a flexible and innovative manner. If your team feels less connected now that you're working virtually, be proactive about rebuilding relationships.

Here are some suggestions on how to stay connected with colleagues in a virtual world:

Make People Feel Good

A close relationship needs positivity, consistency, and vulnerability. If you’re talking with a colleague on a video chat, you want the person to leave your presence feeling good. You can do so by offering compliments, laughing together, helping out, showing empathy, and celebrating each other.

Restructure Meetings

Think about how you run your meetings and add time for personal interaction. For example, start meetings with something that creates affinity - e.g., go around the group and have everyone tell their sweet and sour of the week. If you're having a large group discussion, break into smaller groups that report back - people will be more open and honest in smaller groups and will be more likely to build connections with their teammates. Allow people to join meetings early so they can catch up and chat about other issues. If you're running a meeting, value team sharing as much as productivity. Make time for personal-life sharing during the meeting. Talk about hobbies and what people did over the weekend.

Embrace Being Human

When we're working from home, we see a lot more about our colleagues' personal life than we would in the office. Don't ignore these personal intrusions. If a dog barks in the background, ask about it. If a child enters the screen, chat with them. Acknowledging someone's personal life builds affinity.

Schedule Micro-Moments

Since you're not running into your coworkers at work, be proactive about scheduling micro-moments. Schedule a short virtual coffee date, or share weekly highlights on a Friday phone call. Create Slack channels for posting photographs of pets or employees engaged in their hobbies. Here are some fun ideas for Slack channels that help build connections: https://museumhack.com/5-channels-better-slack-use/.

Create Virtual Team Building Activities

Plan a virtual happy hour or book club. Use a tool such as Google Pixel Art to set up a shared spreadsheet and encourage team members to add to a joint drawing. See where the drawing takes you every time a different team member adds their colors and designs.

What has helped your stay connected to coworkers in your virtual world?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Want to Improve Your Resilience? Be Kind

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

As the global health pandemic continues beyond two years, many of us are struggling to maintain our resilience. Being kind to others is an easy way to boost your well-being while helping others who are struggling.

This summer,  Bryant P.H. Hui, Ph.D., a research assistant professor at the University of Hong Kong, published the results of an extensive review of over 200 studies on kindness. Hui and his colleagues found a modest but significant link between prosocial behavior and the givers’ well-being. 

Small gestures of kindness are quite powerful for the giver. Hui and his colleagues found that random acts of kindness, such as helping an older neighbor carry groceries, were more strongly associated with overall wellbeing than formal prosocial behavior, such as scheduled volunteering for a charity. Hui thinks this may be because informal helping is more casual and spontaneous and may more easily lead to forming social connections. Informal giving is also more varied and less likely to become stale or monotonous, he said.

Promoting kindness at work can also have a positive impact. A study published in the journal Emotion examined the effects of performing random acts of kindness in the workplace. The study focused on the behaviors of more than 100 employees who were randomly assigned to one of three groups: "givers," "receivers," and a "control" group. Researchers instructed the "givers" to perform five acts of kindness to specific "receivers" for four weeks. The "receivers" and "control" were led to believe the study was about workplace morale and were tasked with discretely keeping track of the generous behaviors they observed.

Both "givers" and "receivers" felt happier and reported higher levels of well-being (less depressed and more satisfied with their jobs) two months later compared to the control. Researchers also discovered that acts of kindness had a positive ripple effect. "Receivers" weren't only paying back the acts of kindness to the "givers," but they also paid it forward, meaning that others benefited, too. "Receivers" in the experiment paid it forward by doling out more acts of kindness than the control group – 278% more.

Other researchers confirm that kindness is contagious. Researcher Jamil Zaki and colleagues found that people imitate the particulars of positive actions and the spirit underlying them. They concluded that an individual's kindness could trigger people to spread positivity in other ways. 

To help you and others thrive during the coronavirus crisis, remind yourself to be kind. If you’re looking for more inspiration on the positive impact of being kind, the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has a wealth of information on the science of kindness and how to become a kindness advocate.

What acts of kindness have you done lately? What impact did these acts have on your well-being?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

How to Create a Successful Resilience Committee

A resilience committee event

One of the best ways to foster individual and team resilience in the workplace is to form a resilience committee.

Resilience committees can be invaluable because they reflect employees’ needs and organizational culture. They can provide leaders with a more accurate picture of how the staff is doing. And, they often come up with very creative and effective ways to foster resilience across the organization.

For several years I ran a committee that fostered resilience among staff and students at the State Department's training institute. We organized weekly meditation, therapy dogs, Lunch & Learn events, and other activities that promoted resilience and wellbeing.

Here are lessons I learned on how to have a successful resilience committee in your workplace:

Identify a Strong Committee Chair

You need a committee chair who will keep the team functioning by running productive meetings and maintaining focus. It is also crucial that the chair be able to communicate effectively with senior leaders to obtain the necessary resources and support for committee activities. The chair may also need to provide valuable feedback to senior leaders about actions that enhance and hinder resilience.

Recruit a Diverse Membership

Recruit members from various work units, with a range of work experiences, ages, and other demographics. The more diverse your membership, the more inclusive and impactful the committee will be.

Hold Regularly Scheduled Meetings

If you have a recurring calendar entry, resilience committee meetings are more likely to take place. Otherwise, we all get overwhelmed by our day-to-day work, and it is easy to let the resilience committee meetings fall by the way-side. If there is too much time between meetings, you'll waste time regrouping and getting back your focus.

Develop a Mission Statement and Project Charter

It helps to have a mission statement and project charter that identifies the committee's purpose, goals, and stakeholders. This way, when committee members are tempted to broaden their scope, you can use the mission statement and charter to stay focused. It will also help introduce new members to the committee's mission and goals.

Have a Budget

Leadership needs to provide a budget to the committee so that members know how much they can spend on events. A budget frees the committee from having to request funds for every activity, a constraint which can discourage members from proposing ideas that come with a cost.

Brand Yourself

Consider developing a logo and brand that helps promote committee activities. Think about how you can brand the committee to be more visible and influential.

Be Practical

The committee will need to work within resource constraints (both funding and peoples' time). It's better to do a few projects well than lots of activities that overwhelm the volunteers.

Here are things to watch out for that may reduce the effectiveness of your resilience committee:

Inactive Members

You want members who will volunteer to help organize events. Don't let your committee be one with 20 members, only two of whom do all the work.

Move Beyond the Idea Phase

There are hundreds of great ideas for enhancing resilience in the workplace. Committee meetings can quickly become all about brainstorming new ideas. Some members may generate lots of ideas without wanting to commit to the work it takes to implement their suggestions. While having brainstorming is essential, it is critical that the committee transition from ideas to operations so that a few of those great ideas get implemented.

It’s Not a Social Committee

While socializing can improve team resilience, make sure your committee doesn't merely become the social committee for your organization. Only having social events will reduce the group's impact and risk losing its focus on resilience.

Don't Wait

If you think you need a resilience committee, start one. Don't wait for someone else to take the lead. While it takes time and energy to develop a well-functioning committee, the payoffs in productivity and effectiveness are well worth it.

Have you been on a resilience committee? What worked or didn’t work for you?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Demonstrate Commitment to Colleagues

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

Organizations with committed leaders and staff are better able to adapt to change and thrive in adversity. Teams with high levels of commitment, one of the 7Cs of team resilience, perform well in a crisis.

What does it mean to be committed to your colleagues? Committed co-workers show respect to others. They are loyal and will give something of value (time, money, effort) to support each other. They keep promises and protect teammates from harm even when it is hard to do so.

Here are some ways you can demonstrate your commitment to colleagues:

Do What's Right

Avoid rationalizing to make what's wrong right in your mind. While we all work in gray areas, don't get drawn into the trap of justifying that doing something wrong is okay. I always ask myself whether I would proudly testify in Congress about my behavior. I don't take action if I would be ashamed to tell others what I've done.

Join Committees and Working Groups

Joining efforts that improve your team's well-being shows you are committed to the group, not just your responsibilities. Find at least one activity you can be involved in that contributes to the common good.

Show Up

Attend celebrations, farewells, award ceremonies, and other events in your organization. If you're an introvert, you don't need to stay for the entire event. Show up for at least 10-15 minutes to demonstrate that you support your colleagues.

An Open Door Is Not Enough

If you are a senior leader, walk around the organization and meet people in their workspaces. Saying you have an "open door" communicates that you are expecting everyone to come to you. Instead, go to them. Spend time with people where they work.

Show Interest in Colleagues' Work

Be genuinely interested in the work your colleagues are doing. Ask questions, listen, and become familiar with what they do. Understand their challenges and offer to help if needed.

Keep Your Promises

Don't make a promise you cannot keep and keep the promises you make, no matter how hard it becomes to do so. If you must break a promise, explain why and strive to make this an exception to the rule.

Make Time for People

The more senior you become, the more time you need to dedicate to people. Mentor staff and help them achieve professional and personal success. Provide time and money for personal development.

Focus on Team Instead of Personal Achievements

Give credit to team members for a job well done. Celebrate team success. If you receive a monetary award for a significant accomplishment, spend some of the money on the team that helped you win that recognition. When you get promoted, take your team to lunch to say thanks for helping you get there.

How do you demonstrate your commitment to colleagues?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Avoid Throwing Your Colleagues Under the Bus

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Throwing a colleague under the bus is one of the quickest ways to destroy team resilience. Sacrificing a teammate for a temporary and often minor advantage demonstrates your lack of commitment to your colleague and the team.

Even well-meaning people can sacrifice a teammate under pressure. For example, what if your supervisor criticizes you for missing a project deadline. You’re late because a colleague took a long time to get you some input. It’s tempting to blame your colleague rather than to promise to do better next time.

This behavior destroys trust and can turn colleagues against each other, with staff focusing on avoiding rather than encouraging risk and innovation.

While we all may know this, sometimes we act out of fear and later regret our rash behavior. Committing to "keeping each other out from under the bus" will help you resist temptation. Even when you are sure you are justified in shifting blame, don't do it. The long-term costs will always be higher than the immediate benefits.

Here are some tips to help you avoid throwing others under the bus:

Know Your “Throw” Triggers

Often people throw someone under the bus and then quickly regret it. Identify the triggers that spark that impulse. Practice responding to the triggers with different behavior.

Build Relationships

You are much less likely to betray colleagues you know and like. Take the time to get to know your co-workers so you'll view them as allies instead of rivals or threats.

Share The Risks

We all must take calculated risks, but when you take on too much risk by yourself, you're more likely to point the finger elsewhere if the situation goes bad. Instead, take significant risks as a team. Make sure the team understands the risks and make decisions as a group. Discuss worst-case contingency plans as a team. If you have a negative outcome, it's more likely the team will take responsibility instead of sacrificing just one person.

Clarify Roles and Responsibilities

When there are unclear roles and responsibilities, it is easier to betray your colleagues. Avoid this by clarifying roles and responsibilities, getting agreement among those involved, and documenting the results before trouble begins.

Admit Your Mistakes

While it can be hard to admit your mistakes, particularly in a public setting, your colleagues will trust and respect you more if you do. The more comfortable you are making and acknowledging your mistakes, the less likely you will blame others when you mess up.

Maintain High Resilience

If your resilience is low, you are more likely to make emotional decisions that undermine colleagues. Maintaining high resilience will help you manage your actions and avoid sacrificing colleagues out of fear.

What helps you avoid throwing others under the bus?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Ensure Formal Award Programs Build Team Resilience

The author presenting an award at the U.S. Consulate Kolkata

In a recent resilience training session, several employees told me they did not feel appreciated by their leadership because they had not had an award ceremony in several years. While the organization gave awards, employees were disappointed that certificates appeared on their desks with no formal presentation.

The organization's leadership, however, had a different view. They felt that employees viewed awards as an entitlement, not as a reward for work above and beyond the norm. They thought employees were overlooking and undervaluing the appreciation they had received in other forums.

This tension highlights a frequent debate surrounding awards and employee recognition programs. While research shows that affirmation, feedback, and reward motivate employees to do their best work, many people strongly dislike formal award programs. While award ceremonies have a positive impact in some organizations, in other offices they may lead to lower instead of higher morale.

I suspect that concerns about award programs arise when leadership has stumbled into one or more award pitfalls. When this happens, morale can suffer, and team resilience may erode. Here are some of the most common pitfalls:

Common Award Pitfalls

• Lack of fairness and transparency: When awards are not fair and transparent, employees become bitter and cynical. To avoid this pitfall, communicate award guidelines widely. Be impartial and transparent when applying the rules. If an employee expects an award, have a conversation about why and be open to finding award-worthy performance that isn't obvious. If you believe an award is not warranted, don't submit an award nomination. Instead, clearly explain your reasoning and what the employee can do in the future to earn the recognition.

• High performers are overlooked: When leadership overlooks high performers, some may become less motivated. Be generous with awards and ensure that managers take the time needed to submit nominations for their best performers. If a manager consistently neglects to nominate employees, have a performance management discussion with that supervisor. Explain that failure to recognize and reward strong performers will negatively impact the office, and you expect the manager to nominate deserving employees for awards. A clear message from leadership regarding expectations can be powerful.

• Poor performers receive awards: When poor performers receive awards, it devalues the awards for everyone else. Staff morale will often go down when leadership recognizes individuals who are widely seen as undeserving, self-serving, toxic, or too absorbed in stroking the boss without performing. Or, they are known to engage in behaviors that violate organizational norms and values (e.g., people who engage in discriminatory or harassing behavior). Managers need to resist pressure to nominate and approve awards for these known poor performers.

• Low budgets: When budgets are tight, some organizations may reduce the number of awards they issue. While it is always nice to get money with an award, public recognition for work well done is also impactful. It is better to give more awards for less money each than limit the number of awards. During or after a crisis, consider granting more awards than usual to acknowledge the challenges employees experienced.

• A rushed award ceremony: While many of us find award ceremonies to be tedious and lengthy, the only thing worse than a ceremony that is too long is a ceremony that is too short. Bringing people together and then rushing events can feel insulting and give the impression that leadership is not committed enough to give their time to the event. Read the citations, take time for photos, and properly thank employees for their contributions. Find ways to keep the ceremony from dragging on without cutting the essential aspects of employee recognition ceremonies. Skimping on food demonstrates that leadership does not believe people are worth the expense. Don't be lavish or wasteful, but provide quality food that doesn't run out.

Why Have an Award Ceremony?

Given these pitfalls, it can be tempting to scrap a formal award ceremony. In doing so, you may lose an opportunity to strengthen your team’s resilience. If you put in place systems and structures that avoid the risks, award ceremonies can foster team resilience in the following ways:

• Demonstrate commitment: By taking the time to write an award nomination, managers demonstrate their commitment to employees. Time is precious, so taking the time to nominate someone for even a minor award sends a message that the person is worth your time. I often nominated employees for competitive awards and showed them the nomination, even when I was not confident they would be selected.

• Show consideration: Public recognition is a great way to show consideration to employees. While a private "thank you" is useful, public recognition has the added benefit of demonstrating to the entire team how much senior managers value people in the organization. Award ceremonies provide an open forum for leaders to signal to employees that their organization cares about and appreciates them.

• Create one culture: Award ceremonies build one culture by identifying "organizational heroes," individuals and groups who embody the organization's core values. Reading award citations aloud tells the organization's story, and hearing about the work award recipients have done can inspire others.

• Build connections: Once we can have in-person award ceremonies again, they can be enjoyable social events that build relationships between team members. Since they are organization-wide, it provides an opportunity for employees to make social connections with colleagues in other parts of the organization and across hierarchies.  

• Increase coordination: A public event that highlights the work of different organizational components helps employees stay in sync and work toward common goals. When awards are linked to organization-wide goals, it encourages employees to view their work as part of a larger whole.

What are your thoughts on award ceremonies? What pitfalls have you experienced, and how have award ceremonies improved your team's resilience?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Avoid Micro-Aggressions and Offer Micro-Affirmations Instead

There are two types of small actions - micro-affirmations and micro-aggressions - that can either enhance or destroy your team's resilience. Research conducted by academic Emily Heaphy and consultant Marcial Losada found the ratio of positive to negative comments made the greatest difference between the most and least successful teams they studied.

The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was nearly six positive comments for every negative one. The low-performing teams had almost three negative comments for every positive.

Micro-affirmations are small positive actions and comments that demonstrate that we care about our colleagues. Examples include opening a door for another person, friendly facial expressions or gestures, showing genuine interest in a colleague’s personal life, and asking someone’s opinion.

Micro-aggressions are verbal and nonverbal insults, often targeting people based solely on their marginalized group membership. It is often difficult to pinpoint why something is offensive. Some people might not be aware that their statements had an adverse effect. Examples include never seeking input from minority colleagues, commenting on a co-worker’s clothing or hair because it is outside the norm, saying “you people,” and telling a colleague they are a credit to their race/gender.

Here’s how you can increase micro-affirmations and minimize micro-aggressions in your workplace:

Be Aware

Be thoughtful about the words you use and consider how they impact others. Become familiar with common micro-aggressions and ensure you're not using them. Notice if colleagues are using micro-aggressions and the impact they are having on others. Avoid being sarcastic, mocking, or arrogant with your colleagues. 

Speak Up

Commit to a daily practice of offering micro-affirmations to co-workers. Encourage colleagues to also make positive comments to each other. When you witness a micro-aggression, whether targeting you or a colleague, call out the inappropriate behavior.

Avoid Bad Jokes

While humor helps build team resilience, people often use jokes to cover micro-aggressions. Watch for and eliminate language such as "Oh get over it; it's just a joke." Confront colleagues who use jokes in this negative way.

Be Supportive

If a colleague is the target of micro-aggressions, reach out and offer to help. Validate their experiences and ask what you can do to support them. Join them in efforts to eliminate negative comments from the workplace.

Admit Your Mistakes

Acknowledge that you are human and may inadvertently commit a micro-aggression. When you do, admit your mistake, learn from the experience, and apologize. If someone confronts you on your behavior, listen to what they tell you, and try not to be defensive. It can be very harmful to deny that someone is hurt or offended by something we said or did.

Though our emotions can often run away from us, we control the words we say and our actions. A daily practice of giving micro-affirmations and the eradication of micro-aggressions demonstrates that you care about your teammates and fosters an atmosphere of resilience in your office.

What is your experience with both micro-affirmations and micro-aggressions in the workplace?

I___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Create a Work Culture of Asking for Help

Photo by form PxHere

The coronavirus has disrupted our lives for almost two years and it's no surprise that many of us are struggling. The most resilient among us know we can't get through this alone. Instead, we ask colleagues, friends, and families for help.

Organizations that encourage asking for help have been more resilient during this crisis. They adapt more quickly to rapid changes and find solutions to novel problems. Here’s how you can thrive in adversity by fostering a helping culture in your organization:

Understand the Barriers

Take a good look at your organizational culture and identify barriers to asking for help. Are employees who seek advice viewed as weak or inferior? Do senior leaders give the impression that they are superhuman and never need help? Are vulnerabilities punished? Is there a lack of trust among colleagues? Once you understand your organization's cultural barriers, you'll be able to strategize ways to remove or minimize the obstacles.

Build on Your Strengths

Identify what you’re already doing that encourages employees to seek help and reinforce these actions. Name and optimize what you’re doing well. Seek out ways to expand these strengths across the organization.

Model Asking for Help

When employees witness leaders asking for help, they are more likely to follow suit. Publicly acknowledge your deficiencies and request that colleagues help you compensate. Be honest about your vulnerabilities and demonstrate how seeking support from others turns those vulnerabilities into strengths.

Reward Asking for Help

Recognize and show appreciation to employees who ask for help. When someone asks you for help, thank them for seeking your support. Use formal recognition programs to highlight accomplishments that employees achieved because they requested assistance from others. Ensure you're rewarding collaborative efforts and not only individual performance. Wayne Baker's book All You Have to Do Is Ask provides more suggestions on how to reward asking for help.

Protect Givers

Psychologist Adam Grant studied givers and takers, concluding that organizations with high numbers of givers are more productive. Unfortunately, givers often burn out because they may neglect their own needs, or too many takers drain their energy. When givers are rewarded and encouraged to also ask for help, they are more likely to excel. Weed out takers from your organization to avoid exhausting givers. 

Conduct a Reciprocity Ring Exercise

The Reciprocity Ring is a dynamic group exercise developed by Give and Take that encourages team members to be givers and cements high-quality connections. People who use the Reciprocity Ring get the information they need to solve real problems, both personal and professional. It can energize a group, creating healthy relationships that help individuals and organizations. You can conduct the Reciprocity Ring exercise virtually if necessary.

How have you created a culture that encourages asking for help?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Help a Critically Ill Co-Worker

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

A colleague just told you she has cancer and will soon start chemotherapy. How do you react? Or, maybe it's your boss who had a significant heart attack and is critically ill. What do you do?

Having a colleague fall critically ill can have a traumatic impact on the work team. We may worry about a valued friend or supervisor. It may bring up past events when someone close to us has been ill or trigger fears about our health or the wellbeing of loved ones. It's essential to recognize the impact this may have on your team's resilience and respond in ways that support your ill co-worker and the rest of the office.

Here are several things to think about if you have a colleague who has a severe illness:

Give Them Control

When we are ill, we lose control over many aspects of our lives. This loss of control can erode the resilience we need to combat the disease. To help your co-worker maintain control over their life, allow them as much control at work as possible. Don't make any assumptions. One person may not want to work at all while ill.  Another may prefer to stay as engaged as possible. Ask them how much they would like to be involved and respect their decisions, even if you disagree.

Adjust Work Priorities

Accept that your colleague will not be as productive as usual for quite some time and discuss what impact this will have on the rest of the team. Don't overwhelm teammates with extra work they can't handle. Instead, put some projects on hold while focusing on your highest priorities. You don't want your ill colleague to feel guilty about colleagues suffering from overwork.

Be Available to Listen

Many people appreciate the concern and support of their co-workers. Some will be open about their illness and want to talk to colleagues about their diagnosis. If this is the case, ask open-ended questions and listen. Don't offer advice or share horror stories from other people. Don't pressure them to "stay positive" or put on a happy face. If your colleague does not want to talk about their illness, respect their privacy, and talk about other topics.

Follow the Ring Theory

Susan Silk developed the Ring Theory after suffering from breast cancer. Unfortunately, some friends sought her support to help them through her illness. What she needed instead was unconditional support from these friends, and they needed to find comfort elsewhere. The Ring Theory is simple. The person who is ill is at the center of a series of rings. People in outer rings should only seek support from or complain to people in their circle or a ring that is further out. If you're struggling, find help from a co-worker or your friends or family, never from your ill colleague.

Source: Ring Theory by Susan Silk

Participate in Caring Bridge

If someone close to your colleague has set up a Caring Bridge site, visit it for regular updates. Sign up for tasks. Using Caring Bridge reduces the burden on your ill colleague who cannot manage dozens of well-meaning requests for how people can help. If you do sign up for a task, don't put any additional burden on your ill colleague. For example, one of my colleagues found the need to return food storage containers to their owners to be overwhelming.

Be Creative With Office Gifts

While it is always nice to send a card to someone who is ill, think about other ways you can be helpful. For example, Lyft or Uber vouchers could help a person get to/from treatment. You could pay for a cleaner before the person comes home from the hospital. Or, they may appreciate help with childcare or with pets. Or, pay for a meal service or a massage. Before sending flowers, consider whether they would be welcome or be too much of a burden.

Have you been critically ill? What did your co-workers do that helped you the most?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.