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I recently consulted with someone who described her boss as very quick to anger, exploding at the staff without warning or reason. She is clingy, insisting that employees join her for social activities and always be available for her to vent. She is moody, rarely sleeps, and her cynicism is harsh and corrosive.
As you can imagine, this behavior negatively impacts the office she supervises. Staff resilience is eroding, and her team is breaking down. Employees are demoralized, and a few people have already quit.
It sounds like this boss had once been impressive, but after years of chronic stress, her resilience was extremely low. She had become toxic. My colleague asked me for advice on what to do. Here's what I suggested:
Speak With Your Boss
If you have a trusting relationship with your boss, consider speaking with her about what you're seeing. Review my blog on how to help someone with low resilience. Your intent must be positive. You have to want to help her eliminate problematic behaviors and be a more effective boss. If your boss isn't open to talking, don't push. Just let her know that you want to help and that you're available if she would like to speak with someone.
Find a Colleague to Help
Look for a colleague who has a trusting relationship with your boss and see if that person will initiate a non-judgmental, well-intentioned conversation. Explain that you don’t want to gossip or complain, but you need someone who can help support your boss through a difficult situation.
Talk to Your Boss's Supervisor
While many of us are reluctant to go around our boss and report problems, this is a time when your boss's supervisor could be a valuable ally. When explaining the situation, focus on the behaviors you've observed and the impact it is having on you. Avoid drawing conclusions or making judgments. You're not complaining about a bad boss; you're helping your boss's supervisor understand that there is problematic behavior harming you. You are seeking assistance in eliminating that behavior. If this sounds scary, it is. If you can bring a group of employees together who can speak from first-hand experience, that sometimes makes it easier and is less likely to be viewed as personal.
Go to HR
If initial efforts to address the problematic behavior are not successful, consider talking to your organization’s HR office. If you have an Ombudsman or Office of the Inspector General, consider getting them involved.
Transfer or Quit
If all else fails, consider asking to be relocated within the organization or quitting. Working for a supervisor with low resilience who is engaging in problematic behavior can harm your resilience and set the team up for failure. There are times when quitting is the best option. If you don't want to leave, look for a short-term detail in another office to get a break. Let people know you're interested in making a lateral move to another position in the organization.
Focus on Your Resilience
If you decide to stay, and efforts to improve your environment fail, commit to keeping your resilience as high as possible. Make your resilience a top priority and do what you can to contribute to your team's resilience. Review this blog on how to survive a toxic work environment.
Have you worked for a boss with low resilience? What has worked for you?
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To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.