When I survey employees and organizations about their resilience, having a rude boss is one of the most common reasons individuals and teams struggle.
There are many ways bosses can be rude. Some walk away from a conversation because they lose interest. Others answer calls or do other work during meetings. Rude bosses openly mock people by pointing out their flaws or personality quirks in front of others. They remind their subordinates of their place in a hierarchal organization. They take all the credit for wins and blame others when problems arise.
The negative impact of incivility in the workplace is clear. Studies show that rudeness reduces performance on both routine and creative tasks. Rude behavior decreased helpfulness. Employees are less creative when they feel disrespected. Some staff minimize their effort or lower the quality of their work. Many get fed up and leave.
Despite the adverse effects, rudeness in the workplace is much too common. Researchers Christine Porath and Christine Pearson surveyed thousands of workers over 14 years, and 98% reported experiencing uncivil behavior in the workplace. In 2011, half said they were treated rudely at least once a week—up from a quarter in 1998.
When asked why they are rude, many leaders say they are overloaded and don't have time to be nice. Some people fear they will be less leader-like. Others are afraid that they'll be taken advantage of if they are nice at work. Many leaders think they need to flex their muscles to garner power. They are jockeying for position in a competitive workplace and don't want to put themselves at a disadvantage.
Luckily, Porath’s research demonstrates that the opposite is true. Respect doesn’t require extra time. You can be direct and clear without being rude. People who are seen as civil are more likely to be viewed as leaders, and generally are more likely to perform well and succeed.
Some leaders don't know their behavior is perceived as disrespectful and need feedback from others to realize they are harming their teams. Too many of us are multitasking, which makes it hard to be present and to listen. Email and texts make it easier to take out our frustrations, hurl insults and take people down a notch from a safe distance.
Managers need to actively counter some of these pressures to avoid being uncivil and disrespecting their employees. Here are some ways you can avoid being a rude boss:
No Mobile Devices in Meetings
Don’t look at a mobile device while you’re meeting with an employee. If you are worried about an urgent message, have your assistant monitor emails or phone calls and get you if there is a crisis.
Note Your Office Setup
Set up your office with your back to your phone and computer when you talk to people so you won't be distracted by incoming calls and emails and can give employees 100% of your attention. Put a clock within eye-sight so you can see when to end the conversation without having to look at your watch.
Be Kind
Greet people, and say please and thank you. We often get so busy that we forget to say good morning, and we drop usual pleasantries. Accept that being respectful and civil is a sign of strength, not vulnerability. Being rude will undermine your authority. Being courteous and kind will enhance your leadership.
Ask for Feedback
Conduct a confidential 360 survey or set up a confidential suggestions box and specifically ask for employees to identify behaviors that they perceive as disrespectful.
Understand Your Office Culture
Behavior in one culture that is seen as respectful may not be seen the same way in another culture. Learn the cultural norms in your organization and adapt when necessary.
Talk to People
Don't use email or texts to negotiate, argue, or deliver bad news. Pick up the phone or walk to the person's office instead.
What tips do you have to avoid being rude to your employees?
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