How to Avoid Throwing Your Colleagues Under the Bus

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Throwing a colleague under the bus is one of the quickest ways to destroy team resilience. Sacrificing a teammate for a temporary and often minor advantage demonstrates your lack of commitment to your colleague and the team.

Even well-meaning people can sacrifice a teammate under pressure. For example, what if your supervisor criticizes you for missing a project deadline. You’re late because a colleague took a long time to get you some input. It’s tempting to blame your colleague rather than to promise to do better next time.

This behavior destroys trust and can turn colleagues against each other, with staff focusing on avoiding rather than encouraging risk and innovation.

While we all may know this, sometimes we act out of fear and later regret our rash behavior. Committing to "keeping each other out from under the bus" will help you resist temptation. Even when you are sure you are justified in shifting blame, don't do it. The long-term costs will always be higher than the immediate benefits.

Here are some tips to help you avoid throwing others under the bus:

Know Your “Throw” Triggers

Often people throw someone under the bus and then quickly regret it. Identify the triggers that spark that impulse. Practice responding to the triggers with different behavior.

Build Relationships

You are much less likely to betray colleagues you know and like. Take the time to get to know your co-workers so you'll view them as allies instead of rivals or threats.

Share The Risks

We all must take calculated risks, but when you take on too much risk by yourself, you're more likely to point the finger elsewhere if the situation goes bad. Instead, take significant risks as a team. Make sure the team understands the risks and make decisions as a group. Discuss worst-case contingency plans as a team. If you have a negative outcome, it's more likely the team will take responsibility instead of sacrificing just one person.

Clarify Roles and Responsibilities

When there are unclear roles and responsibilities, it is easier to betray your colleagues. Avoid this by clarifying roles and responsibilities, getting agreement among those involved, and documenting the results before trouble begins.

Admit Your Mistakes

While it can be hard to admit your mistakes, particularly in a public setting, your colleagues will trust and respect you more if you do. The more comfortable you are making and acknowledging your mistakes, the less likely you will blame others when you mess up.

Maintain High Resilience

If your resilience is low, you are more likely to make emotional decisions that undermine colleagues. Maintaining high resilience will help you manage your actions and avoid sacrificing colleagues out of fear.

What helps you avoid throwing others under the bus?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

Want to Improve Team Resilience? Strengthen Relationships

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Building social connections with your work colleagues will improve your team's resilience. When you know the people you work with, you're more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt if they do something that hurts you. You'll also be more likely to work through conflict and collaborate on projects more effectively.

Unfortunately, coronavirus has made it much more difficult to build and maintain work relationships. As we start to return to the workplace, make it a priority to reach out to colleagues and build connections.

While parties are the most common way to encourage social interaction at work, they are not that effective. They can overwhelm introverts, who will often avoid the party. People tend to talk only to people they already know at a party, rarely meeting new people. And, research shows that when people engage only in small talk, which parties promote, they become less close over time. Virtual parties can be particularly draining, especially if you’re teleworking and spending most of your time on a computer.

Instead, look for activities that promote meaningful conversations and forge authentic connections. Here are some suggestions for ways you can build strong connections in the workplace:

Ask a Colleague to Lunch

Eating together is a social glue that strengthens relationships and fosters personal connections. Cornell psychologist Brian Wansink studied firehouses and found that firefighters who shared group meals performed better as a team than firefighters who ate solo. You don't need to spend money in a restaurant; eating together in a break room or on a park bench, or having a virtual lunch is enough.

Be Creative Together

Instead of planning a traditional team off-site, consider hosting an event where the team works together on a creative project. One of my favorite group activities is PaintFests organized by the Foundation for Hospital Art. Another option is an annual Share Your Passion event where employees demonstrate their hobbies for each other. If you want to keep it virtual, use a tool such as Google Pixel Art to set up a shared spreadsheet and encourage team members to add to a joint drawing. See where the drawing takes you every time a different team member adds their colors and designs.

Start a Book Club

Book clubs are a great way to build camaraderie while also improving professional development among staff. And, it is easy to have virtual club meetings. Check out this website for pointers on how to start a book club at work.

Create working groups

Identify organization-wide issues that would benefit from collaboration and problem solving and create working groups to develop ideas and solutions. In addition to bringing people together from different work units, you'll also provide growth opportunities for working group chairs.

Create a Workspace That Brings People Together

Whether it's a water cooler, jigsaw puzzle table, or shared coffee maker, ensure your workplace has a space that naturally encourages people to gather. Conversations that take place while we wait for the coffee to brew can be compelling. Create a Slack channel for posting photographs of pets or employees engaged in their hobbies. Here are some fun ideas for Slack channels that help build resilience: https://museumhack.com/5-channels-better-slack-use/.

Encourage Wellness Activities

If you have space, organize regular yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, or other wellness activities sessions. Step competitions are another way to build relationships and can be done virtually. In addition to improving the well-being of employees, these activities will strengthen bonds between participants.

Cross-Train

Encourage employees to train for work in other units and divisions. Cross-training will improve professional development while creating connections between people across the organization.

Have Informal Conversations

It amazes me how often people spend time together in an elevator without talking. Make it a point to say hello to people you meet in an elevator and then follow up with a question that sparks a conversation. If you’re working virtually, reach out to colleagues for a quick, informal chat.

What do you do to build connections with your work colleagues?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How to Forge One Work Culture

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

When the U.S. government shut down several years ago, I saw how difficult it was to maintain team resilience in the State Department because of the disparities between various groups. Most people think of national and racial differences when it comes to culture. But, every group, no matter how small, develops its way of doing things, values, and practices that form a culture. 

In the workplace, this can manifest itself as different ways of communicating, interacting, or making decisions. One group may have a slow but steady pace of work while another is quick and reactive. A team of accountants may have a different culture than a group of attorneys.

Even the most cohesive teams have the potential to fracture based on natural affinities, roles, and designations. Resilient organizations incorporate all groups into one shared culture that does not impose a dominant approach on the rest of the team and values all groups equally. They actively minimize, if not eliminate, natural fractures. If action is not taken to remove fissures, they can become breaks during a crisis and threaten the team's effectiveness.

Here are some individual and group approaches to limit the fractures on your team by inspiring one team culture:

Promote Shared Values and Goals

Identify your shared values and goals and promote them among your team. Focus on similarities rather than differences. Demonstrate how each member of the team contributes to the shared mission. Value all team members equally. For example, Loyola's basketball team created a Wall of Culture to remind every team member of their shared values.

Recognize Your Unconscious Biases

Understand your background and position in the organization and ask yourself whether you have inherent biases on how you view the team culture. Is there a dominant culture that doesn't recognize the other cultures in the group? Try to see the team from your colleagues' perspectives. How are they the same and different? Ask your colleagues how they feel about being a member of the team. If they feel like outsiders or feel devalued, find out why and work to change the team dynamics.

Share Stories

One of the best ways to build one team is to learn each other's stories. Ask your colleagues about their history with the office. What are the highlights? What are their challenges? I worked with an embassy team that had a long-standing break between American and local staff because locals felt betrayed by the Americans decades earlier. They repaired their cracks when Americans started learning the local staffs' stories.

Words Matter

Think about the language you use in the workplace. One of the most destructive phrases is "just a" (he's "just an administrative assistant," or she's "just an intern"). Eliminate this phrase from your vocabulary. Make sure the way you refer to each other is not creating unnecessary divisions.

Imagine Working Without Your Teammates

Imagine trying to accomplish the work your office does without the contributions of everyone on your team. Think about how each person contributes to the overall mission and how critical they are to your success. How different would your team be without their unique contributions? Now that you've experienced feelings of loss think about what you can do to show your colleagues how much you value them.

Tackle the Hard Issues

Resist the temptation to have token appreciation events in hopes this will show undervalued team members how much you care. Instead, commit every day to make sure all colleagues feel they belong and are valued, and that their culture is incorporated into one broader team culture that does not discriminate among team members. For example, during the government shutdown, my leadership could have allowed many of the language instructors to work despite suspending training since they were not federal employees and the institute had already obligated the funds for their contracts. However, this decision would have been politically risky and not easy to implement. This group of staff suffered severe financial hardship while others received back pay, causing bitterness between various groups and a drop in morale.

Creating one culture is one of the 7Cs of team resilience. To learn more about how you can build a team that thrives in adversity, check out my blog on the 7Cs of team resilience.

How have you forged one culture in your office?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

How Colin Powell Demonstrated Commitment

Department of State of the United States of America [Public domain]

When leaders promote the 7Cs of Team Resilience, they ensure team members are well prepared for the unexpected and can respond effectively during a crisis.

This week Colin Powell turned 84 years old. His birthday reminded me that he is one of my favorite Resilience Leader role models because he made the time to foster these 7Cs despite his overwhelming workload as U.S. Secretary of State.

Secretary Powell regularly demonstrated his commitment to State employees and, as a result, he built an agency that thrived despite the challenges we faced during his tenure.

Here's a personal example of how Secretary Powell demonstrated this commitment and how it made a difference.

In June 2003, the U.S. Department of State sent me to Baghdad to open the Office of the U.S. Consul. The security situation was unpredictable, and there were many attacks against diplomatic facilities. In October, insurgents rocketed the Al-Rashid Hotel where I was staying. While I survived a rocket hitting my room, I was traumatized and struggled to regain my equilibrium.

Soon after the attack, the Department's HR office sent me an email asking for feedback on a new incentive package to encourage Foreign Service personnel to take assignments in Iraq. I was exhausted, angry, and bitter and wrote a very nasty response. At the end of my email, I told them, in a snarky "I don't expect this to happen" way, that the only thing I wanted was for Secretary Powell to say to my parents that he was keeping me safe.

In November, I traveled back to Washington DC to receive an award for my actions after the Al-Rashid bombing. My parents attended the ceremony, and just before it began, one of the organizers asked if my parents would please watch from a specific spot in the room.

After giving me an award, Secretary Powell left the stage and walked over to my parents. He introduced himself, shook their hands, and told them, "don't worry, I'm keeping your daughter safe." He comforted my parents and gave me the strength I needed to return to Baghdad and complete my assignment. After that day, I was willing to do anything for Secretary Powell, regardless of the risk or personal sacrifice.

Why did this simple act contribute to my resilience and inspire me when I returned to a dangerous, unpredictable environment? I felt that Secretary Powell, despite his power and responsibilities, was genuinely committed to me and my family's well-being. He cultivated a team of people who were willing to forgive my anger, who were allowed to bring requests to him from junior staff, and who worked with him to make the time to fulfill what I thought was an unrealistic request. Demonstrating authentic commitment to his team members was ingrained in how he conducted himself and his operations. It made a difference.

How do you demonstrate your commitment to team members?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

The 7Cs of Team Resilience

Team resilience is the capacity of a group of people to respond to change and disruption in a flexible and innovative manner. In the face of adversity, resilient teams maintain their work productivity while minimizing the emotional toll on their members. 

A collection of people with high individual resilience does not automatically result in a resilient team. For example, I worked with a U.S. Consulate that had resilient staff who performed well as individuals when they experienced a traumatic incident. They also recovered quickly after the event. However, they struggled to respond during the crisis because they did not work effectively as a team.

Teams need to regularly foster the following 7Cs of Team Resilience in order to ensure they are capable as a team and ready for the unexpected:

Culture

The team has shared values, identity, history, and purpose that bind them together. Teams share stories that help describe their history and identity. Team members can answer the question “who are we together?”

Competence

Team members have the capacity and skills they need to meet demands, particularly during times of crisis and high stress. They have the knowledge and abilities they need to be successful. Team members share their competence with each other.

Connections

Team members know each other and have formed strong relationships. Teammates are treated as individuals not as positions or titles.

Commitment

Team members are dedicated to each other and to a shared mission. They demonstrate respect and loyalty to colleagues and will give something of value (time, money, effort) to support others. They will keep their promises and protect teammates from harm even when it is hard to do so.

Communication

All team members feel well-informed about what is going on in the workplace. Colleagues willingly share information and encourage questioning, critical thinking, and dialogue. Teammates welcome differing views.

Coordination

The team is synchronized across the organization and its goals are well-aligned with other organizational goals. Teammates work through conflict to ensure they are working in sync with each other.

Consideration

Team members support their colleagues’ personal needs as well as professional goals. They express gratitude and appreciation to each other.  

Check out my other blogs that explore each one of these 7Cs and how you can strengthen them in your workplace.

What has help your team build and maintain resilience?

I help individuals and teams thrive in adversity by providing practical skills and tools I developed over several decades as a U.S. diplomat in challenging environments. Visit my website to learn more about how I can help you and your team avoid burnout and become more innovative, collaborative, and productive despite overwhelming challenges, constant change, and chronic stress. Follow me on Twitter at @payneresilience.

We Work With People, Not Positions

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

Consideration, showing appreciation for and taking care of other people, is one of the 7Cs of team resilience and is key to building a team that responds to change and disruption with flexibility and innovation.

One common barrier to fostering consideration in the workplace is that people treat each other as tools or resources, not as human beings. Too often, office culture values roles and positions, not people. This tendency to focus on titles, with people becoming nameless and faceless, undermines the resilience of our teams and too often leads to mission failure.

Recognizing and overcoming this tendency to overlook the human factor will strengthen work teams and make it easier to achieve mission goals. Here are some tips on how you can promote team resilience by recognizing your colleagues as human beings:

Get to Know Each Other

Ask people about themselves, their families, their personal goals, hobbies, and dreams. If you are a supervisor, use your first meeting with a new employee to learn about them. Resist the temptation to jump into mission goals, saving that conversation for a later meeting. Invite colleagues to lunch or for coffee and talk about yourselves rather than work issues. Sometimes your teammates may not want to talk about themselves, but most people appreciate being asked.

Step Back

It is easy to focus only on work when there is a never-ending flow of demands. Take five minutes and step back. Ask yourself what would be the worst outcome if this task does not get done right away. Think about the people doing that project. What do they need? Are they getting enough support?

Use Names, Not Titles

When referring to colleagues, use their names and resist the temptation to use titles or designations. Government employees often fall into this trap since we are trained to use acronyms and it is easier to use titles. This tendency to refer to colleagues only by title dehumanizes the person in the position. For example, instead of saying “the secretary is late today”, say “George is late today”.

Develop Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Put yourself in the shoes of colleagues and make an effort to see issues from their viewpoints.

Stop Making Assumptions

Many of us assume we know what colleagues are thinking, what they want, and how they are reacting. Instead of making assumptions, ask questions. Find out from them what they are thinking and feeling.

Build on People’s Strengths

Help people understand where and how they contribute most effectively given the skills and abilities they have. If people need to learn new skills or overcome weaknesses, focus on how they can grow and improve rather than where they are deficient.

Deal With Poor Performance and Misconduct

Addressing poor performance and misconduct is one of the hardest things a manager can do. Managers are often reluctant to have honest and difficult conversations with employees. They risk having complaints filed against them or creating conflict. By taking on this challenge, managers communicate to the rest of the team that the hard work is worth the effort and risk to improve the working conditions for the rest of the group.

How do you create a culture that values people, not positions?

___________________________

 To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.