There are two types of small actions - micro-affirmations and micro-aggressions - that can either enhance or destroy your team's resilience. Research conducted by academic Emily Heaphy and consultant Marcial Losada found the ratio of positive to negative comments made the greatest difference between the most and least successful teams they studied.
The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was nearly six positive comments for every negative one. The low-performing teams had almost three negative comments for every positive.
Micro-affirmations are small positive actions and comments that demonstrate that we care about our colleagues. Examples include opening a door for another person, friendly facial expressions or gestures, showing genuine interest in a colleague’s personal life, and asking someone’s opinion.
Micro-aggressions are verbal and nonverbal insults, often targeting people based solely on their marginalized group membership. It is often difficult to pinpoint why something is offensive. Some people might not be aware that their statements had an adverse effect. Examples include never seeking input from minority colleagues, commenting on a co-worker’s clothing or hair because it is outside the norm, saying “you people,” and telling a colleague they are a credit to their race/gender.
Here’s how you can increase micro-affirmations and minimize micro-aggressions in your workplace:
Be Aware
Be thoughtful about the words you use and consider how they impact others. Become familiar with common micro-aggressions and ensure you're not using them. Notice if colleagues are using micro-aggressions and the impact they are having on others. Avoid being sarcastic, mocking, or arrogant with your colleagues.
Speak Up
Commit to a daily practice of offering micro-affirmations to co-workers. Encourage colleagues to also make positive comments to each other. When you witness a micro-aggression, whether targeting you or a colleague, call out the inappropriate behavior.
Avoid Bad Jokes
While humor helps build team resilience, people often use jokes to cover micro-aggressions. Watch for and eliminate language such as "Oh get over it; it's just a joke." Confront colleagues who use jokes in this negative way.
Be Supportive
If a colleague is the target of micro-aggressions, reach out and offer to help. Validate their experiences and ask what you can do to support them. Join them in efforts to eliminate negative comments from the workplace.
Admit Your Mistakes
Acknowledge that you are human and may inadvertently commit a micro-aggression. When you do, admit your mistake, learn from the experience, and apologize. If someone confronts you on your behavior, listen to what they tell you, and try not to be defensive. It can be very harmful to deny that someone is hurt or offended by something we said or did.
Though our emotions can often run away from us, we control the words we say and our actions. A daily practice of giving micro-affirmations and the eradication of micro-aggressions demonstrates that you care about your teammates and fosters an atmosphere of resilience in your office.
What is your experience with both micro-affirmations and micro-aggressions in the workplace?
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