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Model

Great Leaders Model Resilience

Several years ago, I trained embassy personnel in a highly volatile part of the world. The staff faced incredible challenges in their efforts to achieve U.S. foreign policy goals. I was pleased to meet a senior leader who was practicing many of the resilience skills I was teaching, and, as a result, his accomplishments were far above average. I thought he was one of the best resilience role models I had met in the State Department.

Imagine my surprise when I mentioned this to his colleagues only to have them respond with skepticism. They protested, stating that the leader must have been working all of the time without breaks to accomplish everything he did. They felt they could not keep up with him. I then realized that no one saw him engaging in resilience-enhancing activities. Instead, they assumed he was working all the time. They were frustrated because when they tried to work longer hours, they did not achieve the same results. They viewed him as superhuman and not as a role model.

This exchange highlighted how important it is that leaders let staff see them engaging in resilience practices and talk about why they prioritize certain activities and the impact they have on their abilities.

Here are some tips on how you can model resilience for your staff:

Say No

Many people are overworked, which is a leading cause of low resilience and burnout. One of the main reasons for overwork is having a boss who never says no to requests from their leadership or clients. Great leaders set boundaries and priorities and say no to requests that would burden their staff.

Put Events on Your Calendar

If you work out during lunch, put it on your calendar as exercise time. Put your ten-minute morning walk on your schedule. Staff often has access to senior leaders' calendars, and seeing these activities scheduled sends the message that they are essential and not frivolous.

Leave Work on Time

While there will always be days when a crisis requires us to work overtime, it is essential that senior leaders are consistently seen leaving the office or logging of their computers on time. If you’re in the office, walk around and say goodnight. If you must check emails after hours, don't respond until you're back in the office.

Take Vacation

Designate and train a backup and take several weeks of leave each year. If you check emails while on vacation, don't respond until you're back in the office. Talk about your vacation plans and how your vacation made you feel afterward.

Talk About Your Passions

If your family is your passion, talk about them, and mention the importance of being home for dinner with your children. If a hobby is your passion, let your team know why you make time for it. When your employees see how much you value non-work activities, they will feel free to do the same.

Publicly Ask for Help

Many leaders are reluctant to admit in public that they need help, worried they will appear to be vulnerable or not up to the demands of the job. However, asking for help improves resilience, and when leaders publicly ask for help, they encourage others to do the same.

Acknowledge Your Bad Days

Most people try to give the impression that they are okay even when they are not. When leaders acknowledge that they are having a tough time because a child is ill or a friend just died, this communicates that it is reasonable to struggle from time-to-time. 

Have you or one of your supervisors modeled resilience? If so, how?

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To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.

This Year, Commit to Being a Resilience Leader

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The last two years have been tough. The chronic stress of living through a global pandemic is still taking its toll, and many of us saw our resilience erode as a result.

While there is some hope that the pandemic will end this year, we still have some difficult months ahead. Resilience Leaders, managers who foster a culture of resilience in their organizations and teams, are needed now more than ever.

As a senior leader in the U.S. Department of State, I saw first-hand the value of leading in a way that fosters the resilience of an office or embassy. After I recovered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my service in Iraq, I initially focused on my resilience. As I moved into more senior leadership positions, I realized that being a resilient leader was not enough, and paying attention only to my resilience risked neglecting my team.

I learned that I also needed to model resilience-building behaviors, mentor employees who had low resilience and foster the resilience of my team. When I became a Resilience Leader instead of just a resilient leader, my team's performance improved dramatically.

Here's how you can be a Resilience Leader:

Model Resilience Behaviors

  • Actions matter: As a leader, employees are watching everything you do. If they see you exercising over lunch, leaving work on time to attend your daughter’s soccer match, openly grieving the loss of a loved one, or taking a vacation without checking emails, they are more likely to do the same. Spend the next month examining your behavior. What messages are you sending or not sending through your actions?

  • Actions speak louder than words: Talking about resilience without behaving in ways that improve resilience can cause harm since employees may perceive you as hypocritical, which can erode trust. While it may be helpful to talk about your behavior as a form of modeling, let your actions speak and minimize your words.

Mentor Employees with Low Resilience

  • Build trust: Your employees will be more open with you if they trust you. Build credibility early on by getting to know your employees and demonstrating your commitment to their well-being.

  • Ask questions: If you see an employee who is struggling, point out what you are seeing and then ask open-ended questions that indicate a genuine interest in hearing what is going on. Continue to pose follow-up questions that give your employee control over how much they tell you, yet encourage them to talk.

  • Listen: Many people just want someone who will listen. If you reach an awkward silence, resist the temptation to fill the silence by talking. While you may want to share some experiences you’ve had that are relevant, the focus of the conversation should be on your employee, not on you.

  • Don’t problem-solve: Many of us want to solve problems because it gives us control, especially when we are uncomfortable with an emotional issue. However, jumping immediately into problem-solving can appear to be dismissive or condescending. Instead, encourage your employee to talk. At the end of the conversation, if appropriate, guide them to explore potential ways forward.

Foster Team Resilience

  • Foster the 7Cs of Team Resilience: If you are the head of your office or organization, you will have the most significant impact on your team's resilience. Make the 7Cs of Team Resilience one of your leadership priorities.

  • Encourage others to build team resilience: Recognize that every member can contribute to their team's resilience and effectiveness. Involve everyone on your team in strengthening the 7Cs.

To learn more about being a Resilience Leader, check out my Udemy Resilience Leadership course. This two-hour course explains how to model, mentor, and foster resilience and is filled with activities that will improve your resilience leadership skills. The course is free for the first 100 people who use this link to register before January 27, 2022.

Are you a Resilience Leader? Have you worked for a Resilience Leader? What do you/they do to model, mentor and foster resilience?

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To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

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