How to Prevent the Holidays From Eroding Your Resilience

The next few months may be rough for many people. Many of us will miss our traditional gatherings with family and friends. Non-Christians may feel excluded and isolated.

While winter holidays can be joyful and rewarding, they can also be emotional and stressful. There might be stress at work over who gets to take annual leave for important holidays.

Some families find the pressure of deciding which relatives to visit or host on meaningful days overwhelming. There’s even more stress this year since we have to decide whether or not to cancel holiday gatherings. We may travel long distances to be with family, which is exhausting in ordinary years and precarious this year.

There may be endless parties and an expectation to be cheerful. There may be social pressure to celebrate on New Year's Eve when we'd rather curl up with a good book. Watching everyone else have fun can be incredibly lonely for people without close friends or family.

If you find the holiday season particularly stressful, develop a strategy for staying resilient. Here are some tips that might help:

Build Social Support

If the holidays make you feel lonely, be proactive about finding people with whom to spend time either virtually or with social distancing. Let people know that you'd love to be invited to their virtual events. Host a virtual holiday event or a safe in-person gathering and invite others who would otherwise be solo.

Make Time to Recover

While it can be tempting to visit loved ones over the holidays, understand the risks you are taking. If you plan to travel, build in time to recover by carving out time just for yourself. If you can, add a day or two of vacation that is just for you and immediate family.

Say No

Clarify your holiday boundaries ahead of time and communicate those boundaries to family and friends. Say no when requests come in that are outside of your boundaries, explaining the reasoning beyond your decision.

 For example, a boundary could be that you travel only once every holiday season. When requests come in for additional travel, you can explain that you find that more than one trip is too much for you and your family over the holidays, and you hope to make a trip later.

 Another boundary could be that you will only spend time with people outside of your household if you all agree to stay outdoors and maintain social distance.

Volunteer

Consider volunteering at a local organization that helps others during the holidays. You can find meaning and purpose in what may otherwise have been an empty or lonely celebration by helping others.

Reframe

If you don't get to take leave over the holidays this year, ask yourself if anything positive can come from working during the holidays. Are you earning points at work for pitching in over the holidays? Would taking leave at another time spare you the horrors of holiday travel during a pandemic?

If you have to cancel traditional gatherings, remind yourself that you’ll all hopefully be together next year.

Manage Your Indulgences

While it is fun to indulge in holiday treats, resist the temptation to stress eat or drink. If you find yourself getting overstressed, make sure you continue to eat enough fruits and vegetables and try to set a limit on indulgences.

Permit People to Opt-Out

Recognize that some people find the holiday season extremely difficult to navigate, especially this year. Be understanding if they opt-out of the office party or family gathering. Resist pressuring them to "have holiday fun."

What helps you stay resilient during the holidays?

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To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

Why Holiday Parties Are Not a Waste of Time

Photo by Eugene Zhyvchik on Unsplash

The winter holiday season is almost here. With most of us working virtually and avoiding crowds, we may be tempted to cancel holiday parties this year.

Many people view these as fun events that give us a nice break from work, but not an essential part of operations. Others think they are a waste of time and are happy for the excuse not to have a holiday party this year.

However, these parties play a significant role in building team resilience, and leaders would benefit from prioritizing their success. While it may be more challenging to have a safe and, most likely, virtual holiday party this year, it’s worth the effort.

Here’s how a holiday party contributes to team resilience:

Culture

The annual holiday party can become a part of a shared identity, with staff taking pride in presenting their office to others. The positive stories from a successful party become part of the shared history. New employees are brought into this shared history by helping to organize and then participating in the event.

Connections

Connections are built across an office, not just at the event itself but, even more important, through the committees and working groups that organize items such as food, decorations and clean up. The best committees have members from various divisions within an office. By working together on a shared goal, employees get to know each other. They will then have much better connections later on when collaboration may be more challenging.

Commitment

Parties give managers an excellent opportunity to show their commitment by helping with party set-up, breaking down, contributing food and drink, or paying for decorations or entertainment. Managers who show up and actively engage with staff communicate that they are committed to the people who work for them.

Consideration

These parties provide an opportunity to invite guests to whom you are grateful. Invite your professional contacts and colleagues from other offices who've helped you throughout the year as a way of saying thanks. Parties that are welcoming and inclusive show community members how much you value them.

So, instead of canceling this year’s holiday party, put a committee together to figure out how to host a virtual party or a safe in-person event.

What are your thoughts on holiday parties? How have you seen them contribute to team resilience?

___________________________

To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.