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Having social support from close friends or family is an essential resilience factor. Studies show that those with strong friendships are far more resilient in many settings, whether dealing with difficult work situations, a severe medical illness, or even the loss of a loved one. In this TED talk, Robert Waldinger reports on a longitudinal study that confirms the value of positive social relationships.
Unfortunately, as we get busier with our everyday responsibilities, such as work and family, we tend to put our friendships on the back burner. Men are more at risk than women, with many having no friends as they approach middle age.
Making friends isn't easy, and it can become harder for adults who don't have natural forums for meeting and getting to know new people. We may have a lot of acquaintances, but it can be challenging to transition those relationships into friendships.
The good news is that you don’t need to be an extrovert or have a million friends. A single close friendship is enough to build your resilience.
Do you want to build your resilience through better friendships? Here are some tips on how to do it:
Create New Connections
If you don't have friends in your area, reach out to special interest groups, such as clubs or meetups. Volunteer with a local charitable organization. Attend a religious service. Invite a work colleague for a cup of coffee. Reaching out can be a challenge for shy people, so if you need some motivation, set targets for yourself, such as meeting one new person a week.
Strengthen Existing Connections
Even people who are married or have many friends can feel lonely. If you are married or have a partner, consider ways you can deepen or revitalize that relationship. If you've been neglecting some old friendships, reach out to these friends to connect over coffee and catch up. Consider carving an extra hour or two out of your week to schedule lunch or dinner with a close friend regularly.
Spend Time in Person
While the internet can be a powerful tool to connect people, there is no substitute for ample face-to-face time when sustaining and nurturing our relationships. Friendships take time to develop. Researcher Jeffrey Hall found that while casual friendships emerge after only 30 hours spent together, close friendships do not develop until after 300 hours spent together. He noted the importance of talking, catching up, joking, and having meaningful conversations.
When Stressed, Reach Out
An essential part of building resilience is accepting help from the people who are important to you. If you are struggling with stress or a tough situation, lean on a friend for some support. Asking for help is a great way to make yourself feel better and can deepen the bond you have with that friend.
Check out this blog for more tips on making friends in your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.
How do you make and nurture your friendships?
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To learn more about how you and your team can thrive in adversity, visit my website, and follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. And, check out my online Resilience Leadership course.